Time capsule

Time is precious

I was clearing out my old files and found my mom’s medical records from the last time she was hospitalized, the first time she disappeared, that I wrote about before. Then I found my notes from that time. Notes on the state of her apartment, the missing persons report, her extravagant shopping bring me back to that time. I see all the resources, the mentions of power of attorney, conservatorship, all that was already there to be done that still isn’t done 15 years later.

Why is it still so hard to get her care? Well, she never agreed to make me her power of attorney even though I’m the only person in her life that she trusts. Conservatorship has to start for involuntary commitment and, even though she’s so disabled that she won’t sleep indoors, the law doesn’t think she’s gravely disabled enough.

So, these documents are like a time capsule of a time that is still now. The issues are the same. The only difference is that her condition has worsened. She stopped taking medications altogether six months after that hospitalization. I didn’t know until six months after that. At that point, she was fully in her delusions. I couldn’t find a way to engage her self-insight. I’m no match for her illness.