Dooley M

Tag: Family

  • Opening the second missing persons report for my mother

    Opening the second missing persons report for my mother

    Some things are easier the second time around. Opening a missing persons report turned out to be one of those things for me. Not easy, but easier. Opening the first missing persons report was so traumatic. The officer at the desk was so dismissive, like I didn’t really know my mother was missing. He gave…

  • My missing mother: I don’t know a whole lot

    My missing mother: I don’t know a whole lot

    I opened an envelope and it all changed. Her bank statement has two deposits, her social security and her pension, and no withdrawals. No withdrawals can mean anything, but nothing good. My first, best, likely option is she is in the hospital or she was in the hospital and then transferred to some longer-term care.…

  • An unexpected benefit of self-care

    An unexpected benefit of self-care

    Self-care comes naturally to some people. I am not one of them. Self-care has long been difficult. In the past several years it has become even more challenging. In my support group, we go around the circle at the end of the meeting to talk about what we’re doing to take care of ourselves in…

  • Don’t want to

    Don’t want to

    It’s Thursday morning and I have lots of work to do. I still haven’t read the writings my mother gave to me and I’m meeting her for lunch. I don’t want to read her writing and I know I have to. I’ve already read the happy ones, the mini-memoirs of the happy events of her…

  • Mom’s been found

    Mom’s been found

    I got a call from the police at 10:30 p.m. They found my mother in a park and saw the open missing persons report I made from the last time she disappeared. They asked me about my mother’s history. We talked about involuntary commitment, which they said they did not have cause to do. I…

  • My mother has disappeared again, the fourth time.

    My mother has disappeared again, the fourth time.

    I have made the calls, which was easier this time. It was easier because I know what city she’s hanging out in now. It was also easier because I’ve done this before and we were reconnected in time. It’s become part of the process of my life now: mom disappears and I call the hospitals,…

  • Again

    So, I’m at the regular meeting spot on the appointed day and the appointed time and there’s no mom. Two weeks ago I missed our meeting because I threw my back out. As is our agreement if either of us misses a meeting, I came to meet her same place, same time, same day. No…

  • Let’s start here

    Let’s start here

    Homeless people are as diverse as other people we group together. I have heard friends and acquaintances talk about “these homeless people” followed by some overall judgement about how they’re all on drugs or they all break into people’s homes and cars. It’s easier to oversimplify, pass judgement, and move on. Homelessness is a difficult…

  • You never really know

    I was talking tonight with a woman who had offered to help with my mom. She had set aside a comp. ticket to hear her music group perform. I didn’t go and wanted to thank her. I had put off calling her since I hadn’t explained anything to her about my mother other than she…

  • Getting used to this

    It’s happening. She’s meeting with the psychiatric liaison at the police department, someone who could help change her life. After trying to get her help and mostly failing, it is the best thing that’s happened all year. Still she’s on the street. It is more awful than I can imagine for her and I’m getting…

  • I have a story

    I have a story inside me and I’m afraid it’s so big it could blot out the sun. It rocks in the ocean of my belly and the waves come out in tears. My face knows this place where I have never smiled, still as stone. I have a story that rings from under glass.…

  • How long does it take to get a 78 year old woman off the street?

    I’ll give you a hint: she’s now 79 and still on the streets.