An alley with brightly colored open umbrellas suspended above with a blue sky behind.

Coming back to myself

Here I am, coming back to myself after a long time away. I hardly know where to start. The awkward pauses, shuffling on the porch. Remembering how to meet my…
Close-up of spider outdoors in a web

I relocated a spider

I relocated a spider this morning before my shower saying, "You do you, just not in the bathtub." Feeling how life has relocated me. Remembering the many times I've ushered…
Tangled rope, held between two points

I’m tired of this

I don't want to talk with her. If I talk with, I'm reminded of how bad the situation is. I'm reminded of her delusions. I'm reminded of her struggles, her…
Compassion and expression

Compassion and expression

Something is changing the way I express my compassion, how I feel compassion. Something is different and it may look like I'm lacking compassion. One thing I have noticed in…
City alley with filtered light through trees and a single figure walking

A new walk

I was walking through the city today, seeing people wrapped in blankets sleeping on the sidewalk, elders sorting through their belongings, women my mother's age, women homeless as my mother…
Time is precious

Time capsule

I was clearing out my old files and found my mom's medical records from the last time she was hospitalized, the first time she disappeared, that I wrote about before.…
ocean

Don’t want to

It's Thursday morning and I have lots of work to do. I still haven't read the writings my mother gave to me and I'm meeting her for lunch. I don't…