Category: Family
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When a homeless person goes missing
Two years ago, my mother, who was and is homeless, went to the hospital with physical symptoms and was admitted. After some visits and discussions, she agreed to go to a skilled nursing facility for some intensive physical therapy. I scrambled for that month to keep her happy enough to keep her there and to…
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I thought I saw her on the train platform last night
I was coming back from a circus show in North Beach. I had gotten there by train, the same train I took to visit my mother when she was in San Francisco living on the street. (She’s doing the same now in San Jose.) Going out I remembered the weight of sorrow in my face,…
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My mentally ill, homeless mother and COVID-19
Turning the new year and coming on the two year anniversary of the COVID lockdown, I am thinking about my mother and her challenges over the past couple years. When we went into lockdown, she was staying at a hotel. She thought that she was having money added to her bank account to enable her…
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Where do I start when I talk about my mentally-ill mother?
I could start with the first time she was hospitalized, in what was supposed to be my last year of college. In the hospital, she greeted me in her nightgown with one of my stuffed animals, a mouse, in her hand. In her room were the rest of stuffed animals of my childhood. Or maybe…
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My new home and homelessness
I am moving to a new place at long last. I am over the moon. Years of San Francisco rent being too damn high is finally starting to turn around. I found a sweet little garden apartment in a quiet neighborhood. Just my speed. While I am full of excitement and anticipation, I am also…
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Staying in her life
I meet her now for lunch. We share food and conversation. I can check in on how she’s doing. She can see that nothing bad is happening to me. Her mind is lively. She’s still interested in art, architecture, politics. She showed me a couple political books she’s read lately. She’s in there, interested in…
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She’s going to disappear for a while
She asks me if I even spoke in Meddler. I tell her no, I don’t even know what Meddler is, except for what she has told me. She says it’s a communication system. She says that someone in Meddler spoke to her who she hadn’t heard before. She had a young voice, which is unusual…
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Closing the year
Here we are, approaching the end of the year. It’s been nearly three years since my mother has reappeared. I’m no longer in full flaming freak-out. I’m no longer in the deepest despair of her situation. There is a low murmuring grief that we are here, another year of my mother on the street. Another…
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Mom’s been found
I got a call from the police at 10:30 p.m. They found my mother in a park and saw the open missing persons report I made from the last time she disappeared. They asked me about my mother’s history. We talked about involuntary commitment, which they said they did not have cause to do. I…
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My mother has disappeared again, the fourth time.
I have made the calls, which was easier this time. It was easier because I know what city she’s hanging out in now. It was also easier because I’ve done this before and we were reconnected in time. It’s become part of the process of my life now: mom disappears and I call the hospitals,…
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Again
So, I’m at the regular meeting spot on the appointed day and the appointed time and there’s no mom. Two weeks ago I missed our meeting because I threw my back out. As is our agreement if either of us misses a meeting, I came to meet her same place, same time, same day. No…
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When she stopped being my mother
I remember the moment when she stopped being my mother. I realized that even as a grown adult that I could not count on her for my most basic needs. It was 2003. I had been on vacation and couldn’t reach my mom by phone when I came back. When my boyfriend and I went…